What Kimonos Can Do
by QueenOfTheYaoi
Summary: Roy Mustang calls everyone to his office to give them quick lookovers and checkups.  A special mission goes to the two soldiers he chooses, but who will he choose?  and what is this mysterious mission?  AND, what is he doing behind the curtain?  Review.


"All personnel in my office immediately!" Mustang said as he walked through the front doors and towards his office. Everyone stood up and followed the colonel into his office except one, particularly stubborn blonde alchemist. Ed sighed.

"Does that include me?" Hawkeye was heading towards the office herself and heard his comment. She stopped in front of him.

"Let me think. Yes." Ed groaned and turned away from Hawkeye. The sharpshooter sighed and grabbed the boy's hood.

"Wait, what're you-gyah!" Hawkeye pulled Ed out of the chair and into the Colonel's office. When they entered the big room, they joined everyone else in the neat line that had formed parallel to the Colonel's desk. Hawkeye called attention and everyone saluted their superior. Ed noticed a curtain set up behind the desk. Mustang looked at the line of soldiers.

"At ease, men."

"Ok, we're all here, now what exactly do you need?" Ed said, obviously annoyed about the random meeting.

"I believe that'll become clear in a few minutes. Just be patient. I know that isn't your style, Fullmetal, but please just bear with me."

"Hmph…Fine. Now what's the curtain for?"

"That should also become clear." Mustang smirked. "When it's your turn." Ed sighed as the black haired man picked up a folder. "We'll start at the far left and work our way down. Lieutenant Breda, if you would come with me.

"Yes, sir." Mustang walked behind the curtain, Breda following. It was over in about three minutes. Breda came back into line and Mustang went back to his desk to get the next folder.

"Havoc."

"Yes sir." Havoc followed Mustang much like Breda had, returning about six minutes later. The cycle continued. Lieutenants Ross, Armstrong, Falman, Feury, Hawkeye, and finally Ed. He walked behind the curtains just as everyone else had. There he saw Mustang sitting in a swivel chair and reading something in a folder.

"Edward Elric, The Fullmetal Alchemist. Weight, 120 pounds. Height, five feet, two inches." Ed could tell Mustang was trying hard not to laugh at his height. "Two living biological relatives, father and brother." Ed looked down. It always hurt when someone reminded him that Granny Pinako and Winry weren't actually related to him. "Unique features, prosthetic automail arm to the shoulder and leg to the knee." Ed glared at the man in front of him.

"All you're doing is reiterating stuff you already know. Does any of this have a point?"

"Yes, Fullmetal, it does. Take off your coat."

"W-what?" Ed blushed a little. "Why?"

"Just do it." Mustang stood up and walked closer. "Or would you prefer I took it off for you?" The black haired man put his hand on Ed's shoulder, letting his fingers graze the sensitive tissue of his neck. Ed glared, but couldn't deny the redness of his face.

"Back up, I'll take it off myself."

"Excellent." Mustang sat back down as Ed shrugged the coat off of his shoulders and let it fall to the floor, revealing a black sleeveless undershirt and leather pants. Mustang stood up and looked Ed over before walking to him and grabbing his chin. After jerking his head around to see him from every possible angle, he smiled and nodded. Mustang picked up Ed's coat and handed it to him. "Back in line, Fullmetal." The alchemists met eyes as Ed left. One pair showed amusement and approval. The other showed confusion and annoyance. Ed put his coat back on and stood back in line. Mustang walked back out from behind the curtain and put the folders onto the desk. "Thank you all for being patient with me. I suppose I owe you an explanation but it'll have to wait for the time being. You're all dismissed…"

"Sir!" everyone saluted the Colonel again and started walking towards the door.

"Except…" Everyone froze in their tracks. "Havoc and Fullmetal." All around him Ed heard sighs of relief as everyone else filed out of the room. The two remaining blondes walked back up to Mustang's desk.

"You need us, sir?" Havoc flashed a cautious smile in the Colonel's direction. Mustang smiled.

"Yes. You see, I will be going to Xing soon. And you two are coming with me."

"…We are?" Both blondes said simultaneously.

"Yes, you are. To gather intelligence. Ed groaned.

"Y'know, I'm always happy to help so don't get me wrong, but why us?"

"Simple. Havoc because first of all, he's familiar with the culture. Second, because he blends in rather well."

"And me then? Im not exactly conspicuous."

"Which is the exact reason I chose you. I figured Havoc could get information from pedestrians and you could get information from behind the scenes."

"…I hate to say it, but the bastard is making sense." Havoc nodded.

"Yes he is." Mustang sighed.

"Now here's the part you'll both hate me for. We leave in two days."

"Pervert say what now?"

"You're kidding, right?"

"Not at all. Now Since Fullmetal knows nothing about the Xing culture, Havoc, you have to teach him. Today. Before you leave. You can use my office. And you'll have the day off tomorrow to get ready." Havoc nodded.

"Yes sir." Mustang tossed a key to Havoc and started walking to a door.

"I also expect you to come in here and choose something to take with you. I warn you, don't mixmatch anything." And with that, Mustang walked out the office. Ed and Havoc stared blankly at the door Mustang pointed out. Ed walked to it and opened it.

"Whoa. Havoc, come see this." Havoc walked up to the boy and mimicked his shocked expression. The room was a giant closet. Havoc walked inside and pulled off the first garment. Ed stared at it. "What the hell is it?" Havoc smiled.

"It's a kimono. A traditional old style Xing outfit."

"Wow."

"Well? Go find one you like!" Ed turned to the racks behind him and looked through the garments. All the ones he saw he either didn't like or wouldn't fit him.

"Grr…damned kimonos…" Havoc cleared his throat, making Ed turn around.

"Try this one." Havoc held up a beautiful silver kimono adorned with red, intricate swirls that looked almost like runes. And it looked like it would fit him. Ed smiled and took the hanger.

"Thanks Havoc." Ed walked to the changing room, Havoc entering the one across from it. Ed took off his coat and shirt and slipped on the kimono before coming to a realization. "Wait, I don't know how to put on one of these goddamn things!" Ed heard Havoc laugh. The door to his changing room opened and Havoc walked in. "Gyah!" Ed blushed and turned to grab his shirt. "A little warning next time you barge in would be greatly appreciated!" Havoc laughed again.

"I only came in to tie your kimono for you." Ed turned back around to face Havoc. He was now wearing a midnight blue kimono with black roses piled on the arms and the left side, making a triangle of petals and stems. But his chest was showing. He had tied the kimono quickly to go help Ed, so the neckline had sank. Ed's heart sped up. "Put your arms up." Ed blushed redder.

"N-no, it's ok. I can figure it out."

"You sure? I don't think yours ties the same as most of the others." Havoc walked closer to try to get a better look, but Ed backed up. Havoc raised an eyebrow. "You got a fever, boss? You're really red." Havoc tried to feel Ed's forehead, but he turned his head.

"Just get out…"

"Ed, what's wrong with you?"

"You!" Havoc's eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hairline.

'hmm…aha!' Havoc had an idea. "Hey Ed, tell me something." He started walking towards the boy. Ed wouldn't turn to face him.

"W-what?" Havoc wrapped one hand around Ed's waist and caressed his chin with the other.

"Does it feel good when I do this?" Havoc blew in the younger blonde's ear, sending shivers of pleasure down his body. Ed's blush deepened.

'Bingo.' Havoc smiled. "Ed, are you blushing because you think I'm hot?" Ed looked down.

"Y-you look good in a k-kimono…and your chest was showing…I wanted to…touch you…" Havoc's eyes softened.

"If you want to, you can." Ed looked up at the other man.

"But you're not…"

"True, I'm not. But you, you're still young. You don't know your preferences yet. I can show you the side you've never seen. So go ahead and experiment." Ed was reluctant at first, but eventually put his hands on the center of Havoc's chest. Ed was surprised at how firm and toned it was. He moved his hands lower. He had a six-pack. How does someone who seems so lazy keep muscles like that? He moved higher to Havoc's collarbone, running his fingers over the smooth skin there. Ed then moved to Havoc's shoulders. He paused there and looked into Havoc's eyes.

"What's up?"

"Can I…kiss you?" Ed's face now rivaled a tomato in redness. Havoc's face heated a bit too. Havoc bent down so their faces were level.

"Only if you want to." Ed went in slowly, as if he was trying to figure out how to do it. Havoc closed his eyes.

"Lieutenant Havoc! Fullmetal!" The blondes jumped apart. Ed was speechless, but Havoc was calm.

"Ah, Colonel Mustang. We found our kimonos."

"Yes, it looks like you two found more than that. Care to explain what I just saw?"

"You see, I was teaching Fullmetal how Xing residents kiss. What better way to explain than with a demonstration?" The black haired man's eyebrows went up.

"…I suppose that's acceptable. Are you two done in here?"

"No actually. We had trouble finding a kimono for Fullmetal, and he hasn't tried this one on yet. But it appears to fit him. Just give us ten minutes."

"Ok then. Hurry it up." Mustang walked out of the closet. Havoc turned to Ed.

"You heard him. Where's your kimono's sash?"

"huh? Oh. Uh…right here." Ed handed Havoc a long piece of silver fabric trimmed with red. Havoc found the center of the fabric and put it on his bellybutton before wrapping it around his back and tying it into a bow. He then twisted the fabric so the bow was in the back.

"Go look in the mirror." Havoc pointed to the mirror behind the door to the changing room. Ed walked to the mirror and gave himself a once-over.

"Not bad." Havoc walked up behind him and put his hand on his shoulder.

"No bad at all. Ok, let's get these off. Come here so I can undo the bow. Havoc got on his knees behind Ed and undid the bow, unwrapping it from his waist and taking it off.. "Turn back around." Ed did as he was told. When he was facing the other blonde again, Havoc took the sash and threw it over Ed's head, pulling both ends when it was around his waist. He grabbed both ends of the sash with one hand and pulled Ed closer and planted a kiss on his lips. The other hand worked into the shorter blonde's hair, pulling him into a deeper kiss and locking him into place. Ed kissed back without thinking. It didn't even last a minute, but it did last long enough to make Ed whine when Havoc pulled away. Ed went beet red again as his lips tingled from the feeling.

"You're…a good k-kisser…" Havoc laughed.

"You ain't too bad yourself, boss."


End file.
